On Corporate Mentality and the At-Will State of Mind

I watch, with some interest, the new show on television “Undercover Boss”.  I enjoy the show because it is a way for the typical head-honcho to get in with the average man or woman and see what real life is like…  You know the one… where they are outside of the rich-bitch bubble and have to see and hear what is going on in their company for real.

Friends, there is fear out there.  Serious, for real, fear.  That fear is not healthy for a company, nor for the employees that work there.  What is all this fear about and what can one do about it?

Most American states are “at-will”, and companies can hire, discipline and fire whenever they want to as long as it isn’t as a result of discrimination.  The employee also is “at-will” and can quit at any time, for any reason.  This process goes back to an 1877 treatise on master-servant relations by a gent named Horace Gray Wood.  Basically, (and unlike most law, where the accused is presumed innocent until proven guilty and the prosecution has the burden of proof) the employee (or servant) is required to prove the terms of employment and whether or not there was a contract, either written or implied.

Labor and trade unions came into being to protect the average worker, to stimulate business and to encourage productivity.  I have in my life, seen union employees with a slim grievance be rehired when, with appropriate documentation, they should have been fired for good and all.   And I have seen unscrupulous managers degrade, manipulate and bully their employees into quitting, transferring or submitting to more of the same.  Power corrupts, indeed, and it matters not whether the power is wielded by the collective-bargaining unit or by corporate management.  Unions are becoming more impotent in the day to day as they become more powerful in politics.  Corporate big-wigs are sucking up their golden parachutes and leaving the company and its’ employee with fewer and fewer options.  Small business is getting killed by taxes and then has to step back into private industry, letting go the American dream.  And John and Joan Q. Public is left wondering why they are holding the bag.  Again.  Seems like Europe, circa the 1760′s…

What then, are we to do about it?

Taken one at a time, as individuals, we have to learn how to protect ourselves as best we can when we are at work.  The best way to do this is to know your company’s policies inside and out.  You’re given a handbook for a reason and should keep it with you or close by for reference whenever a question comes up.  You have the right to go on the record if a policy in that book is not upheld, if it is used against you or if it countermands some other policy, state or federal law.  If you want to protect yourself, you have to know the rules.  Get a tape recorder and use it.  Make notes after any meeting.  Date them.  Make a copy and keep them in a lockbox.  Or don’t bother with the paranoia and let things keep going the way they are.  Right now, your responsibility to yourself and your family is to protect yourself and them, and if you aren’t going to, no one else will.  You can’t expect a lawyer to stand up with you if you have nothing to show for yourself.  So try this on for size…

If a manager docks you, writes you up for any reason or verbally abuses you, you must confront.  By this I don’t mean go and beat them up!  You must respond as a professional, and do it right.  Tell them you want a meeting right now or you will go to their supervisor for a meeting.  Then DO it.  If they retaliate, you have reason to go to your human resources department and follow the procedures in place.  Ask the HR manager to guide you, because they are there for just these types of situations (but don’t be fooled, they work FOR the company, not you).

When you confront, request that YOUR comments about the situation be put in writing.  Anytime you are written up, it should be done privately, and with your option to comment.  So, comment.  The more you comment about the situation (and address the specifics of your complaint), the better your chances are to be heard.  You should be given a copy of the write-up with your managers comments, signature and dated.  Protect yourself!  If you live in fear, you will stay at the bottom.  Managers get frustrated, they make mistakes, they fail to follow procedures, and they also have their own fears.  If you follow procedure, you should well be the one to succeed.  If you don’t, you will stay where you are, or you might even lose your job.

I recently wrote in this blog about a group of employees at a Florida corporation, and what was happening to the people there along with the company’s own response.   There is a hotline for them (and should be at every larger company) dedicated to answering the hard ethical question: is someone at our company being abused?  If the answer is yes, then there is probably an even bigger problem that needs to be addressed – namely, what are we doing to root out the issue and fix the problem?  A lot of this starts with training individuals and proper company responses to complaints.

It is NOT just about business ethic.  It’s not about being green or offering flex-time to employees, or even scholarship programs that go to the lowest rung on the totem pole.  1877 is not 2010, and significant revision to the treatise is more of a requirement than ever.  We need to rewrite the book on employment law to fit what America really needs today.  Master-servant hardly seems applicable.

 

Beall’s Issues Response To Protest

Beall’s corporate has issued a response to my blog from last evening through Vice President of Operations, Chris Collins.

Mr. Collins has advised that, due to the many allegations of discrimination, Beall’s will be pursuing an investigation beginning June 24th.   He is very concerned that employees may not be aware that there is an anonymous tip line available for them if they are not comfortable making use of the policies currently in place.   He requests  any Beall’s employees with concerns or allegations contact 1-800-SamsTips**to make the corporate offices aware of the situation and so action may be taken.

When asked about the approval of the unemployment claim by Ms. Brenda Petito due to unfavorable working conditions, Collins stated he was not aware of the ruling against Beall’s nor the reason for that approval.

Mr. Collins said, “Beall’s takes very seriously allegations of this type, and procedures are in place to handle them but sometimes employees don’t take advantage or are not aware of the options available”.

He has made himself available for further comments and questions.

**CORRECTION: Mr. Collins has advised the correct number for the tip line is, in fact: 1-888-SAMTIPS

Please make a not of this correction if you would like to anonymously contact Beall’s regarding issues involving potential discrimination or abuses.

Beall’s Outlet Employees Protest Treatment

Beall’s Outlet Employees Protest Treatment
Sebastian, Florida
(by Connie Spicer)

June 22, 2010

Employees and former employees of Beall’s Outlet, a division of Beall’s Department Stores, were protesting at the Roseland Plaza store on US 1 in Sebastian Monday. Signs noting “Unfair Practices” and “Beall’s Discriminates Against Age” were lofted in anger as nearly a dozen women protested what they view as discriminatory and unfair labor violations, primarily on the part of one district manager, though others are also noted.

I asked the ladies if there was a spokesperson and was introduced to Brenda Petito, a former manager of Beall’s Outlet’s Vero Beach store. Petito says she was a manager there for 2 years, and previously managed the Gainesville Beall’s Outlet store for two years. She and Lisa Forsberg, a 6-year former manager at this same Sebastian store where they were protesting, had numerous complaints about the treatment of themselves, other managers and employees of Beall’s, and were very anxious to promote their grievances.

Petito said that this district manager, Nicole Martinez, has made inflammatory and discriminatory comments, and even terminated individuals due to their age, disability, and gender, citing a situation where Martinez told her directly, “We need to get rid of these older employees”. She also claimed that Martinez didn’t want men working in the stores, and went as far as terminating a male worker hired by Petito in retaliation for Petito’s resignation – a resignation which she feels she was forced to offer. Petito and Forsberg went over Martinez’ as per corporate policy only to be reprimanded for doing so. The Regional Manager, Jerry Izzi, allegedly forced Lisa Forsberg into quitting her job at one store while Petito was working with Martinez at another. When Brenda Petito quit her position due to the working conditions, Florida’s Agency for Workforce Innovation Unemployment Compensation Program found, “The quitting was with good cause attributable to the employer” and is charging the employer for her benefits.

Another employee, who asked to remain anonymous, said she has been fighting cancer for some time. The district manager allegedly wrote her up for “wearing unapproved clothing”, because she wore a cap to cover the hair loss resulting from her chemo treatments.

Ms. Nadine Kelley was a 3-year manager for Beall’s Outlet. She says her salary was based on a 40-hour work week, but, like all managers, she was on call 24 hours a day, every day-as managers are. She says she understands that her duties and responsibilities to Beall’s and to her employees were for more than 40 hour work weeks, but that often managers were used as unpaid labor, made to work their own and their staff’s jobs – and not paid – for often another 20 to 40 hours per week. Many times they were expected to take over for the hourly workers and were unable to even eat or take reasonable breaks. She says she was forced to dock hourly workers pay and to write them up for issues beyond their control, most often for health or age-related issues about which, she, Kelley, was sympathetic and understanding.

Kelley, Forsberg and Petito each commented on a situation in which Kelley, coming in as a new manager at Beall’s, was discussing with Martinez situations with employees. Kelley says that Martinez pointed one female employee out, noting that the employee had had breast cancer, and commented that the employee now “had (it) a second time. How many times can you get (breast cancer)?”

She also noted that she, herself, recently had to undergo a hysterectomy and was off under the FMLA (Family and Medical Leave Act); and yet was called in to work despite that – being told by Martinez, “how long does it take to recover from (a hysterectomy)”? Kelley says she remained in touch with her key employees and had other situations to directly comment on.

She noted one employee, who was disabled from arthritis, was off work for some time due to the disease. She was called back to work on a limited disability. The day she returned to work, Martinez called her in and terminated her because the store suddenly “didn’t have an available opening”.

I asked the ladies if they had specific proof of incidents, and, with the exception of Brenda Petito’s ruling by Unemployment, they noted the time-clock records, write-ups and hearsay evidence in Beall’s files would validate them.

While I was there, a gentleman pulled up in a truck to inquire what was going on. He said he didn’t want to leave his name, but said he was a deputy sheriff and retired Vietnam War veteran who dated a former Beall’s employee. I asked him how he felt about these employees, protesting the company the way they were, and he advised, “If they can prove their case, they should go for it!” His comments left little room for doubt that his lady friend had also encountered issues with her employment with Beall’s.

These employees and others will be protesting again at another Beall’s Outlet in the next few days and hope to garner more support. I will attempt to contact Ms. Martinez and Mr. Izzi along with Beall’s corporate offices for their comments on this story and will post that article when that happens and also plan to cover the next protest. Brenda Petito is currently waiting a decision by the EEOC regarding her claims, and is hoping to file a class action lawsuit afterward, if given the right to sue by the EEOC.

CJS

Please note: several updates were made to this article from it’s original publication on 6/22 to reflect new information received. Thank you!

To Boycott BP or Not?

I know a young lady whose grandfather is retired from British Petroleum after many years of service. She became upset with me after I joined a Facebook group, “Boycott BP, they are ruining our environment”. She is sincerely concerned about her grandfather’s well-being and that is certainly understandable and commendable. However, trying to explain to the young British ex-pat how I feel and what I think needs done is likely not enough; I gave a probably vain attempt, as follows:

“I believe that there should be public and open strategy sessions so that everyone the world over can see exactly what is planned to resolve this and also to prevent just such a situation from happening at any of the dozens of other off-shore rigs out there. All we are hearing about is that the oil continues to flow and we don’t see any resolution.

There just seems to be no end to this disaster. I, as an American watching our shores be destroyed, watching my brothers and sisters lose their livelihoods and lands, seeing my childrens’ and grandchildrens’ futures being eroded by the devastation, want to know that BP is NOW doing as much as is possible to fix this. I ALSO WANT OUR GOVERNMENT TO GET MORE AGGRESSIVELY INVOLVED, and not with just “sending out the National Guard”. We’re talking about, literally thousands upon thousands of miles of coastline and acres of habitat, and millions of gallons of water being ruined, not including the wildlife that may permanently be lost.

To worry about the pensions of some tens of thousands when considering the lives of millions seems just a bit off-priority to me. I wish it were an easy fix, but it will not be.

Again, I agree that BP should remain a viable company, but the face of BP needs to change immediately. This one event has had and will continue to have more detriment and impact to our country than if Osama bin Laden had bombed 10 World Trade Centers. Strong words, but I believe it fervently. I add here, that had bin Laden actually bombed 10 World Trade Centers, there would have been much greater public outcry and action than is currently being seen.

Can you imagine a Gulf of Mexico that has no fish? No living birds? No coral? Or a Jamaica or Bahamas that no one visits? Or no Louisiana bayou country? Can you even consider that a huge portion of our world’s largest oceans may be poisoned beyond repair for decades? And the longer it goes on, the worse it gets.

There are oversight organizations that bear some responsibility. I’m sure the rigs are supposed to be inspected. I’m sure there are people out there who knew there “could be” or “might have been” or even the “potential” of a problem, and if those people are found, should also be held accountable somehow. But the biggest picture to be seen is just how much of America is going to be lost and how soon, if ever, it will recover.

It’s all a huge mess. Huge. I really wish that I had answers and that no-one was going to be hurt by this, most especially for my young friends’ grandfather and the thousands upon thousands of other BP pensioners. I doubt that this will impact him or his pension, and I certainly hope that it won’t for any of the people who have worked long and hard for BP over many years. And as soon as I see fiscal responsibility from them, I will — I WILL — continue to support them and purchase their products, as I have for many years in the past.”

Here are some things I didn’t include… from the State of Florida.com website:
“Tourism – with 76.8 million visitors in 2004 (a record number), Florida is the top travel destination in the world. The tourism industry has an economic impact of $57 billion on Florida’s economy.”

Riddle me this, friends: If you were looking forward to going to a place that once upon a time had white sandy beaches, fair sun, beautiful flora and fauna and is now covered with the stench of raw petroleum and dead marine life from one coast to another, would you want to go?

And JUST in the state of Florida are 1200 miles (yes, over one thousand miles) of sand beaches and over 1800 miles of coastline. How many animals live along these coastal areas? How many people work to support all of this? How much tourism stands to be lost? This is just for the state of Florida and does not include the other coasts, the other countries the literally millions that will be impacted by this error.

When do we say enough is enough?

Optimizing Small Businesses On The ‘Net

Everyone has a system, don’t they?  Working with small businesses and talking to owners and partners creates an interesting environment of brainstorming and collusion.  Odd words, perhaps, but true enough.  The discovery that what works for the big guys can work for the little guy deserves a bit of attention, because many small (read: Tiny!) companies can’t afford more than even a couple hundred dollars per month in advertising  to promote themselves.  So, how do you grow a company?  Start with optimizing your web presence rather than throwing more money on varied print ads that may or may not bring you results.  Let’s look at this…

I recently posted 2 polls on LinkedIn asking what do you think is the best way to grow a business? I offered the following multiple choice options:

1) More specialized advertising

2) Inject additional capital

3) Bring in new partners

4) Expand into larger location

5) Other (email what works best for you)

The results, while certainly not scientific nor the only possibilities out there, were interesting.  28%  responded with More Specialized Advertising.  0%  (yep, that’s a big ZERO) said to Inject More Capital.  14% opted for Bringing In New Partners, while a huge 42% said to Expand Into Larger Location; the last 14% opted for some other option, but did not offer their ideas via email as suggested.  The numbers for the second poll reflected different respondents, and remarkably, the exact same percentages!  The only one to respond via email response was, “Have professional consultants from every aspect of business along with a strong law firm as mentors to resource and discuss plans of action.” 

Now, this being said, and realizing that posted polls are very limited in their responses, let’s take a moment to look at “more specialized advertising”.   There are a few ways that every business can easily and “freely” optimize their web presence which, with proper follow up, can and will improve their rankings on any search engine.  The question is, what are you willing to do to promote your business?  You’ve already done  the hard stuff, so why not tackle this last project or hire someone to help you with it?

Let’s consider the social networks.  “Everyone is doing it”, in this case means it may not be a bad idea to get into it yourself!  Just be cautious in how you approach it and how you respond to your inquiries.  Business is, after all, business.  If you want to play, create another personal site for that.  Clutter doesn’t belong on the business page.  And the playthings will not improve your SEO rankings, so Keep It Separate, Silly! still applies here.  

How do you choose which SN site will work best for you?  There are several sources to review what is going on in your area.  I suggest going to Quantcast.com to see what sites are getting the most movement in your area by whatever marketing criteria you might want to consider.  Whether it is by age, income, gender, ethnicity and others, a personalized marketing review will allow you to consider what sites might draw hits for you.  Just create your own login, then click on “Media Planner” at the top of your home page and give it a minute to sort.  Create your own specifications and it will automatically update for you.

Once you pick the top vehicles in which to express your business interests, set up a page there.  Start connecting with others in your social arena by inviting others to participate with you, but keep it to your business acquaintances, contacts, potential clients and the like.  Stay in regular touch by dedicating time each week just for this purpose!  You are trying to appeal to others, not just to collect “bodies” to impress people.  Yes, it’s a numbers game, but customers are oftentimes more impressed by the personal approach rather than the extremes.  Or, play the numbers game.  The idea is to get the hits and customers or clients based upon what works for you!

Once your social networking sites are up (and keep a good record of them!  You will need to follow up) start looking at developing a business blog.  Again, there are many ways and sites just for this purpose.  You can use Quantcast or other, more professional or trade-specific services to determine what will work best to draw people into your circle.  My personal favorite is WordPress, but you can blog from so many sources, it may work to have several going at once, where you can post topics and build your personal expertise.  You must be the expert, after all!

One of the most overlooked areas in search engine optimization is “keyword or keyphrase domination”.    If you are using PPC products, you MUST have a strong keyword/keyphrase anchor.  One of the best ways to do this is to comment on ezine articles, keeping up your blogs, and creating YouTube videos.  You can also create a question (or have someone do it for you) and post it on Yahoo, Google, Ask.com or other search engines using your keywords/keyphrases; then go back under another email and answer the question — being sure to ADD your own blogs URL.  Remember — YOU are the expert!  People should be coming to you!

Add and build what’s called a Link Wheel on your site.  From your main site, create an article with your keywords reflected in it a fair number of times — Note: Don’t overuse it!  Research other sites that contain your keywords and keyphrases.  Bookmark the articles and your own, and submit them to your favorite social bookmark feeds.  This adds to the information base and others looking for those phrases are going to run into you and your business much more often.

Check out high pagerank article directories, like helium.com, AssociatedContent, upublish.info and many others.  These are just 3 of thousands of article directories, so look for listings all over.  A lot of these are populated by freelance writers, semi-ambitious SAH’s (stay-at-homes) and actual paid professional writers.  If you have trouble wording things, consider hiring a “ghost” or even a tech writer for your own purposes.

More later on Affiliate marketing, cross-linking and ezine articles.  Enjoy, and hook up with me on Facebook, Twitter or, heck, just go looking,  I’m out there!

Anniversary Eve Day

Youth dramatizes suicide.  For some reason, many of us in our ignorant youth believed that it was not a bad thing to “die young”.  In fact, the mantra of many of my friends when I was a pup was “live fast, die young, leave a good looking corpse”.

Ah, the romance and the utter stupidity of the young.

If you’ve read my blogs or you know me personally, you already know that my youngest son committed suicide.  At just age 13, I don’t believe he understood the concept of death.  Not truly.  Not for good and forever.  And for that reason alone, I can forgive him, because I think he wanted something more than he got on this earth, and that took him to a place where he might find it: some peace, I pray, for his soul, because he was tormented his last couple of years on earth and he was in pain and he was angry.

Now, I had someone say to me that I was blaming him for his action.  This suicide, this death could have been prevented – and was not — for a number of reasons, not all of which fall down upon my shoulders, nor that of his father either, if I am to be truthful.  We all had a hand in his life, and we are all suffering at his death.  And, quite frankly, blame is plentiful and easily passed on, believe me.

So, to the person who had the nerve to tell me that I was blaming “the victim”, let me just say that my whole family has been victimized.  My son was not the only one who suffered.  But, his suffering ended November 14, 2002.

I ask you, when will MY suffering end?  When will his brother and sisters’ suffering end?  His father, his grandparents, his many cousins, even his schoolmates suffered, and continue to suffer.

You have no clue what it is like and I ask you not to judge.  Don’t judge him his pain because it was great in his mind, it was so overwhelming as to be unrelenting and for him, terminal as a cancer.

I saw another viewpoint that indicated that people who were suicidal were mentally ill, and thus they could be spared their eternity in Hell or Purgatory or whatever you wish to call it because, apparently if you are mentally ill, you are exempt from sin, and thus exempt from Hell.  Well, in my son’s case, that may be true because of age, lack of understanding and his emotional state, but I don’t think that would apply to some folks who actually prefer to “opt out” of life because they truly are suffering from some fatal disease or other, and I’m not going to argue the point either.  This blog is not a debate, it is simply my opinion on events from his life and those results that affect me and my family.

As such, I also have an opinion on what happened to my son’s soul.  You see, if we believe in the hereafter, then we also are most likely to believe in miracles and in spirit and so on.  It’s not necessarily superstition, it’s an integral belief that we receive information from another plane of existence.  And, guess what?  I do believe.

My kids were all baptized.  They went to church with me for years until their father and I divorced and even then they went with me from time to time.  They all had the basics in a Christian education and have some ideas about God.  Anyway, things that happened before and after Paul died have led me to believe that he is where he is supposed to be, that he IS at peace and that one day I will see him again.

For example, a few days before he died, he left me a note which read: “I am going to my dad’s house.  I love you”.  Now, Paul did not speak of his father this way.  He called his father by his first name, and had for some time.  The note was poignant to me at the time, and so I kept it.  It wasn’t until after he died that I saw the biblical significance of the note.  Now, I know that coincidence and wordplay isn’t uncommon, especially for teens, but keep in mind, I am a person who believes in God, so this is significant to me!

There was another event, one in which many Evangelical Christians might think of as an “ungodly” or even “unholy” event, which nonetheless provided me some release.  One day, about a week before what would have been my sons’ 15th birthday, I was bereft and panicked and suffering.  I prayed to God to give me some kind of sign that Paul was OK and with Him.  I was looking forward to visiting his grave and trying to rest there.  On this particular day, before the birthday, I was talking with a co-worker when suddenly a very odd look crossed her face.  She nearly went white, and got up and went to her desk, retrieved a piece of paper from her purse.  She revealed to me at that time that she had been talking to a phone psychic.

“Your son is Paul, isn’t he?”, she asked.  I confirmed his name.  She told me that she had been talking to this psychic, and even if I didn’t believe, she wanted to confide in me what messages she had been getting of late.  The psychic kept telling her that this presence was telling her that she needed to tell “them” that “he was OK and that he loves them”.  She handed me the paper where, in 2 separate phone conversations she had made notes about, the psychic had told her “Paul wants you to tell them he’s OK and that he loves them” and “Paul wants them to know he’s alright”.  She looked at me again, tears in both our eyes as she said, “I’ve been trying for 2 weeks to figure out who Paul is.  I even asked my mother if she knew of anyone named Paul… We don’t know of anyone with that name.”

But that was not the end of the story.  That Saturday when I went to his grave, the day was clear and cool. The sun was bright.  The sky was so blue and pure it left me aching.  The trees were beginning to develop tiny buds as winter began to lose its’ hold.  I spent a few moments in prayer and meditation; I cleaned the marker, pulled a couple of weeds.  It was silent there in that beautiful place, as it always seems to be whenever I visit it.  On this day, as I started to leave, I thanked God and Paul for their messages and started to get in my car.  As I did so, I looked up at the sky directly over my sons’ marker and started to weep again.  In the deep blue of the sky, etched in vapor trails, was a perfect cross pointing down on his resting spot.  There was no other trail in the sky, no cloud.  No jet stream of any other type.

Once again, I thanked God for his message and felt some consolation from my pain.  These are the last “messages” I got, and probably will never get any more.

Now, I know this is most likely the product of a mind in pain.  Reasonably, I can see that I wanted to hear these things, wanted to see some reassurance that my boy was not eternally damned and his soul would never be free to join me.  I can’t believe this, ever.  The alternative is to live, not just with huge regrets, but to add to my pain and fear and loss by thinking for any second that his is a soul condemned forever.  I simply can’t allow myself to think that.

How can any mother be expected to do that?  Bad enough to bury your own child.  To give away his skin, his bone, his eyes to others.  I wish I could know who those recipients are, but that is unlikely to ever happen.  I just pray that they take good care of themselves and perhaps my son will somehow live on in their children, because I will never have a grandchild from him to lavish my love upon.

So, the survivors’ perspective is a desperate one.  It’s not just praying for the salvation of his soul.  It’s more than his immediate loss.  It’s a loss of lifetimes.  I expected to see him through school.  Past crushes and athletics and success and even failure.  Coming up in just a couple of months is what would have been his 18th birthday.  I look at young men, just turning 18, and I wonder, what would my son have looked like?  What would he be doing?  I go to a movie, and think how much he would have enjoyed it.  Would he be driving a car?  Looking at colleges?  I look at his brother and sister, and wonder if he had any idea how much he changed the core of their very lives?  Of all of our lives?

Paul did not believe he had such power.  I don’t think most kids do because they haven’t lived yet.  Everything is this huge drama, where it seems one can either never escape or someone is “just gonna DIE”…  When I was younger.  I remember times that I considered suicide as an option.  I think of the times when I egged myself on toward it even, beating myself up over and over in my depressed youth.  The blackness of depression is so oppressive and I remember thinking it was like the LaBrea Tar Pits, deep and suffocating, sucking you down so there is no escape.

But I was a “lucky” one.  It only took me until I was 35 before finally and miraculously this blackness left me.  It has never returned, even through Paul’s death.  Grief and depression are very distinctly different.

I apologize for the length of this post.  There is just no good way to explain these things.  A death by accident or illness somehow seems more tolerable because there is not this huge negative associated with it.  It doesn’t minimize the pain another parent goes through, by no means.  But it does explain that the type of regret survivors live with is vastly different.

Now, Time is an ally for many things.  Pain becomes blurred and dim.  I can lie to myself and look at his photo on the wall and think, one day I’ll find him.  Or, One of these days, he’ll come walking in that door — no, of course I don’t believe that.  But if I close my eyes for a few moments…  If I think back to that day…  It becomes yesterday — no today — no, it becomes now.  Again.  And I hear my daughter crying out, “Mom, is this some kind of joke?  Mom!!  Tell me it’s a joke!” and I run upstairs and see him lying there — his hands icy cold, a shotgun fallen.  A note on the table.  A white T-shirt covered in red.

It’s a strange event, almost like a mantra.  It comes to me in those moments of extreme quiet and stillness, right before I slip off into sleep.  And so I can’t sleep, because I know sooner or later it will come back to me again, waking me and forcing me to see him once more in death, when I would prefer to see him live again.

Would YOU want to live with this?  Can you honestly judge any of us?

I regret that people simply do not want me to talk about death, let alone talk to someone about such a personal and devastating event.  Most folks apologize if they bring his death up, or forget it ever happened.  I regret that this event has become a part of my identity.  But, oddly enough, through all of the regret – like a beacon to me — is hope.

Thanks for listening and reading.

Does Capitalism Still Exist In America?

On the one hand, I know the question itself is rather trite.  But we have to look at what is going on in wonderment and dismay, because if the precepts of capitalism (as I understand them) still exist, then the very thought of our government (and thereby every working citizen of this country) paying for the bailouts of companies like AIG or our Big 3 Automakers should seriously and completely just piss the crap out of everyone.

And yet, we sit here and barely protest the idea that these companies should die their natural deaths?

Let’s look at this realistically, folks.

AIG has received not one, but 2 bailouts now.  Serious freaking money.  It’s coming out of my pocket and yours.  OK, so it supposedly won’t hurt us for awhile, but wait!  We have a new feted president-elect coming our way, and guess who’s gonna take the heat for this in the long term?  I can hear it now: That damn Democrat got voted in, everyone thinks he’s going to fix everything overnight and all he’s done is stick us with these TAX policies.  And, um, those “stimulus checks” we’ve been getting?  Yeah, we pay for those too; from where?  The taxes we were supposed to get back next year!  Or maybe the year after that — when Mr. Obama takes over…

Um, I believe this one belongs to “W” again, m’kay?

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not a Dem in my heart.  I’m a Libertarian in principle, and very shortly a card-carrying member.  I’m not liberal, although most of my friends who have no idea what a libertarian is all about think that I must be…  I’m not a conservative though either, by any stretch of the imagination.  I would say that I’m moderate, but primarily I’m a wife, a human being and a business person who is trying real hard to believe that our government has better things to do with MY money — with your money, and yours and yours too – than to throw it after bad companies that REFUSE to progress; or companies that REFUSE to do right by their clients and customers and shareholders and their own country!  I think our government has absolutely no business taking any of my hard-earned cash to make these companies attempt to become re-solvent when all they have done is ignore the writing on the wall out of their own corporate narcissim.

If I hear one more story about AIG abusing bailout cash, I’m going to scream.  And if Speaker Nancy Pelosi gets Congress behind the Big 3 bailout, I’m going to scream again!  Trust me, you’re going to hear it in Tallahassee and in Cleveland, not to mention DC.

This is supposed to be free trade.  Capitalism is not about getting governmental perks and ass-saving!  If you can’t make the bills you should ”die”, just like us penny-ante small business folk, OK?  I want to know who is going to bail my sorry butt if I can’t make my bills?  Joe Nobody, that’s who.  And what would be the reason for my failure?  Poor budgeting?  Stealing from my company?  Yeah, right.

What does it really prove, to have the US government bail these companies out of the danger zone?  I think it proves that monopolies are alive and well, living in America and abusing its’ people, buying their politicians; and these deregulated, wasteful, obsolete monsters are sanctioned by the government – not by the people of this great land.  The CEO’s and upper management of these mega-corps that plunder and switch and then move on to another sucker-company should also be held accountable for the losses and have their hands slapped (and perhaps a goodly chunk of those large severance packages put back into circulation if it can be proven that they were corporate pirates!)  Ruthless bastards exist, but come on, we’ve had enough, and we’re saying so!

There are new crimes in America. 

Do YOU really want to pay for the cleanup?  I think Honda and Toyota could do a pretty good job of keeping us in viable, as-green-as-it-gets-for-now automobiles, until something new comes along.

Burn the trolls, for crying out loud!

OK, I apologize.  I know, probably better than many of you, just how many jobs that stand to be eliminated if the bailouts fail.  Both my husband and my former husband worked for GM and it’s subsidiaries and both have had those jobs eliminated in less than 2 years.  But if small businesses like mine go under because I can’t make my bills — in part because my taxes have escalated to some ungodly point, or my gasoline bill goes through the roof, or I have to live with my elderly parents because I can’t pay a mortgage – then Mom and Pop America is going to have just as many effective job losses in the long run and we’ll be back to square-one. 

Perhaps we should look at ways to ease the burdens of the deaths of these big companies while still allowing them to die.  The workforce is what needs protection – not the company itself!   There has to be some alternative than these ill-conceived bailouts.  I would rather our government remove segments of workers and pay to retrain them and to help them get jobs elsewhere than to continue to throw good money after bad.  Why continue to reward the management and shareholders for their lack of forsight and their general greed?  They have to be held accountable in some manner.  Forcing them to go lean and mean might actually cause them to W-O-R-K to resolve their own crises. 

People take jobs not just to work, but to support families, to have pride in themselves and to, hopefully, work for a company that stands for something good and positive.  We want loyalty from them, but corporations feel no loyalty toward us!  We want to enter our old age knowing we’ve done right by our children, and maybe, just maybe we can even take some kind of retirement.  Today, however, all we feel is burned; burned by corporate America, and now by the government that is supposed provide us with a level of protection: just as Honest Abe said — government OF the people, BY the people and FOR the people…  Are WE perishing?

And the question remains: Does capitalism still exist in America?  Ross Perot, where the hell are you?

Greenspan’s Folly

I’ve read the following article written by Martin Crutsinger and Marcy Gordon regarding the questioning of former Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan by Congress’ House Oversight Committee.  Here is one link to the article: http://www.baynews9.com/content/9/2008/10/23/395306.html?title=Greenspan%20denies%20blame%20for%20crisis,%20admits%20’flaw’ there are several other news organizations similarly quoted.

“”Greenspan, 82, acknowledged under questioning that he had made a “mistake” in believing that banks, operating in their own self-interest, would do what was necessary to protect their shareholders and institutions. Greenspan called that “a flaw in the model … that defines how the world works.”"

To think that anyone, let alone a bank (or a banking system) would protect their shareholders when they personally stand to “earn” (read: strip) their own institution is a huge part of Greenspan’s entire philosophy and shows just how naive and out of touch he was — and just how messed up — our system is.  I am not just discussing our politics or our economy.  This is such a base metaphor for the growth of moral decay as I have ever seen or imagined, and yet it exists.

I believe that it boils down to is this: Mr. Greenspan had 18-1/2 years in a growing free market culture where greed and lack of ethics has become more than just an occasional lapse by poorly-raised individuals, it has become the norm.  When he took over this highly charged position, he was fixed in his belief in the decency of everyman.  He didn’t take into account the decay of morality that has taken place in our society.  In fact, social narcissism is the norm, rather than the exception, and I see it every day in my tiny little shop.  It’s rampant in people who would pass a bad check or a counterfeit bill;in those who would keep money they are not due; in those who would stand idly by and watch someone dying and do nothing to help.  It’s prevalent in those who would take another person’s identity to use their credit or medical information fraudulently for themselves. 

Mr. Greenspan apparently didn’t take into account that a few people in charge of huge sums of money, given rein to run with the bit in their mouths, would take such advantage that a new breed of legalized thievery has arisen.  This is no longer a capitalist society.  We have a new caste system in America that has gone well beyond just the Haves and the Have-nots.

Most of us are well aware of the 80/20 rule: 80 percent of the country’s wealth is in the hands of 20 percent of the population.  A few of those 20 percent are involved in the “growth and sustaining” of our banking and mortgage industries, and I’m sure many of those in positions of power over the past 18-1/2 years have been enjoying the vast opportunities that existed within the industry.  Who better to know how to make money work for them than someone with the education and position?  Now, I’m not saying that every CEO or COO of all of the banks, savings and mortgage companies in our country are bold-faced thieves, just that many of them have the skills to work it all to their advantage.

And why not?  The policies in place were not there to protect the banks, the shareholders, and certainly not John Q. Public, are they?  Really?  JQP has had to stand by, wringing his hands and wondering why — every time he (or she) turns around, they were paying a new fee for every service the banks came up with.  They wondered why the nickles and dimes they are continuously told to save are conveniently being scraped out of their pockets and into the banks’ own cavernous vaults.  Why can’t JQP retire?  He’s had 40 years of working to put back the money!  Why, he must not be very good with his cash!  (Heaven forbid if he has to work for nearly minimum wage!  And, shouldn’t he be grateful for that?)

Indeed, life takes most of us by surprise.  We are, after all, human.  So, those of us who grew up and lived by the Golden Rule are almost always surprised when the theft comes – not with a gun and mask – but over the counter with a coldly smiling face, blank stare and a banking policy explanation.  So, don’t let your water heater break.  Don’t buy a new car.  Don’t move from your home.  God forbid if you should divorce, marry or have children.  What will you do if your child wants to marry or go on to college?  There’s another 5, 10, 15 year payoff that will drain you dry.

It seems to me that the officials who have been in charge of mortgage and banking policies for the past 2 decades should be investigated.  Let’s look under the hoods of their Mercedes and at their vacation homes and off-shore accounts and see just what they did to “earn” their million dollar severances and retirements.  How DID they rape the system that was in place? 

I am sure that the 80 percent of the population who simply survive would stand up clearly and say, “I didn’t do anything,” and be truthful, at least about that.  Many more in our banking industry would say, “I didn’t do anything,” and while being truthful, could possibly also add, “but I know a lot more”.

The rest would probably think quietly to themselves, “I’m in control.  I know what I’m doing.  I like raping and pillaging”.  They are certainly being truthful.  What really pisses me off is that they were given license to do so, and now most of the 80 percent are going to pay for it.

I don’t know about everyone out there; I only know about myself.  My family did not come to this country to be ripped off by banks, by taxes, by government.  We came to live an honest life, to worship as we chose, to love our families and to live safely.  Many of us don’t care that we don’t have millions, we just want to be comfortable and live decently, under the laws and in the lands of this great country.

So, what the hell happened?  When did ethics get thrown out the door?  Isn’t it about time that, at their earliest ages, we start teaching our kids again and anew what honesty and ethics are supposed to be about?  Should we not hold those accountable who have taken so much from so many and quit asking innocents to pay for something they had no party in?

I am not going to say that mortgage and banking consumers had no responsibility.  On the contrary, every consumer has the right – and even the obligation – to go in to a closing on their prospective property; to check out every single piece of paper; to make sure the terms are fully understood and clear.  As with many folks, people want others to be responsible, so, like sheep they follow the shepherd.  When the shepherd is not a true shepherd, but a wolf, and they still trust and follow, they tend to get eaten alive, one after another.  It is much too easy to say, “I don’t have time to read all of this!”  We already know we don’t have the time or even the inclination, right?  It’s even more difficult when you’re in that big, cold room and the closing personnel are there, waiting expectantly for you to sign off on every piece of paper they throw at you.

Of course they give you an explanation.  The 15 second “This-is-what-this-paper-is all-about-sign-here-and-here-and-here” spiel is the easiest way to get through it all.  No one wants to appear ignorant, so we take them at their word.  We blindly allow them herd us from one gate to the other.

So, who are the advocates?  The loan broker didn’t say no.  The underwriters didn’t say no.  The mortgage company didn’t say no, nor did the title company, the lawyer or the consumer.  Slaughter, indeed.

What are we left with now?  Whose responsibility is it?  How is the blame to be distributed?  And we already know those who should be most held accountable will be in Rio or Cabo, enjoying their mojitos and sunshine, don’t we?

Cynicism rules!  As evidence, this very article.  Greed advances.  Power has already corrupted.  Politics is a farce.  America, the once fat and slumbering giant, stands now at Wall Street with a thoroughly confused look on his “Uncle Sam” face.

Is it no surprise, really, that young people camp out there too, waiting for the brokers to leap from the Exchange windows with cameras in hand in the hopes that they are the next Youtube wonder?

I wish I had answers, but all I can advocate is decency, honesty, morality, ethics.  Treat others as you want to be treated!  I’d love to be able to live with my door unlocked again.  Why must we live in fear?  I suppose I am too idealistic and naive. 

I once attended a small business seminar in Dayton, Ohio.  The speaker was a real estate mogul who said, “You can feel for the person on the other side of the door.  That doesn’t mean they get free rent.  You have to evict them if they cannot pay.  Their issues are not your issues.  You are in business for yourself.”  He went on to extol the virtues of “decided inhumanity” (my term); which means, basically, if they can’t pay today you certainly can’t expect them to come up with the money tomorrow, so your only choice is to be rid of them and as quickly as possible so you can get someone else in who CAN pay.  It would seem a great deal of our current problem is that philosophy, and the decision is now backing up into the very choice that our financial market has NO CHOICE BUT to work with the very people they attempted to defraud.

Now, here’s the final catch.  We all know that paper financials can be manipulated.  We really aren’t stupid.  Projections are guesses built upon formulas; and it seems our economists have been very lucky in their projections the past 20 years, haven’t they?  They have accomplished what the earliest financiers dreamed!  It’s like the ultimate multi-level marketing scheme, and they never had to recruit!  Oh, my goodness, to have a tiny piece of that beautiful pie…  and now, the pie has been dropped on the floor and found to be rancid.

I’d say the baker was flawed in the ingredients…

It’s time for everyone to get real.

Surviving Your Child

In a few short weeks, I will have the not-so-distinguished honor of going through the 6th anniversary of my youngest child’s death.  The occasion is auspicious, not just for what it is, but simply because I HAVE survived it, when I thought once that I would never get over the loss.

I decided to write this particular blog because there are so many other survivors out there.  It matters not one small whit what happened to take your child away from life and from you; what matters is that we have this thing in common: every day we open our eyes from our bed and discover that there really IS another day awaiting us.  We take our next breath.  We rise and begin anew just as we have done every previous day of our life.  We can acknowledge the emptiness we feel or we can attempt to stifle it, which accomplishes little but postpones the pain.

Those who surround you will ask, “What happened to your child?”.  It is not that they need to know.  They blithely step into the habit of speaking that first thing on their mind.  Curiosity is first.  And while we don’t want to have to be strong when we are already overwhelmed, it can be devastating to say any of those words again.  Tell yourself, the reason doesn’t matter: The truth is that it IS the truth and your child is gone — the whys, what fors and should haves will always be there.

My favorite answer to those thoughtless ones: “I won’t discuss it.  I would rather talk about my child in a positive way because the good is what I want to remember.”  Only a few, select, may receive the truth, and that is when I feel darned good and ready to talk to them about it.  If they are friends, they will be there to give support and encouragement not derail your emotions with shock and ignorant commentary.

Time heals but slowly.  No matter our age, we remember our child as if he or she were just in the room next to us.  Perhaps they are, and they simply want to let us know that, not only are they OK, but so should we be if we will allow ourselves to do so.  Some days will be more gentle than others.

I went home last weekend for my class reunion and stopped in at my son’s grave.  I’d not been to visit in a year and half now that we live in the south.  It was a cool and peaceful afternoon and the trees are just starting to show some color.  The sun was hidden behind white clouds and the breezes were fair.

Fall has always been my favorite time of year, and now, while bittersweet, it is still the beginning of celebration for me.  It just starts a few weeks earlier, November 14, instead of Thanksgiving.  I think of a handsome 13-year-old boy with brown eyes and freckles on his nose.  I celebrate not just his life, but that of his brother and sister and the rest of our family.  I celebrate survival.  I celebrate life today and take the lessons with me.  The little stuff is entirely unimportant.  Don’t become bitter or angry; it serves you no purpose at all but to hold that pain more deeply inside.  Let it go, let your child go, and be free yourself to love them as you once did.  I promise you will find them again in your heart, and with that you may find joy again, in every day.

Living Under Fay

Vero has been hard-hit these past two days by the Tropical Storm Fay.  I even closed my store in Sebastian just to make sure I didn’t have to worry about wading in, which is rather difficult for me.  I hate not working!  The schools of Indian River County were closed yesterday, and they were intrepid enough to open today.  I decided I wasn’t going to get enough customers in this rain to warrant my opening.

I took a drive in later this afternoon to check on the security there and all is well.  Unlike many businesses and homes in the area, we are high enough and have decent enough drainage (at least for the time being) to keep the water where it belongs.   I’d worried I would have some flow through the back door, but no problems there, thank goodness.

Most of the difficulties arises from driving from one location to another.  Many areas hardest hit have little to no sewer systems to move the water away from them.  One community, Tradition, is largely underwater, and that is a very new community!  The damages there will be easily in the hundreds of millions alone.  Many of my favorite customers live in Barefoot Bay, which was hit by a tornado last night, destroying nine homes.  I’ll have to wait to see what happened to them.  Port St. Lucie, in St. Lucie County, is devastated.  People are being forced to wade through waste from backed up septics; they are being warned not to do so because of snakes, alligators and fire ants in the waters.  I’ve seen news reports of kids biking, many people boating to their mailboxes.  People are being ferried to and from their homes in dump trucks.  One school district has their entire bus yard literally swamped to the engines with water and muck.

Here in Pointe West, we’ve measured the rain levels each day.  From 5pm the 18th, to 5pm the 19th we received 9-3/4 inches of rain.  From 5 yesterday to 5 today, another 3-1/2 inches and still more to come as Fay turns around and heads to the Florida panhandle… or so the weather gurus tell us.  My dogs are forlorn.  My youngest is living under our bed and hating every time I tell her she has no choice but to go outside.  Such pitiful faces I’ve rarely seen!  We all come in looking (and smelling) like drowned rats, and there just aren’t enough towels in the world to get us dry enough.

I’m sure I’m not the only one to say it, “I’m really sick of the rain now!”  Lake Okeechobee, which has been drought laden these past 2 years, will largely be caught up by this downpour.   Current weather reports seem to show Fay has stalled just outside of Melbourne (north of Sebastian) and the bands stand to drench us for the next few days as she takes her sweet time heading north and west.  I suppose when I live through my first hurricane, I’ll be really uptight, but right now I’m feeling like I did when I was up north and going through a snow squall.  I wonder what this would have translated into snow-wise?

I’m all for ending the drought.  I’d just rather it wasn’t in one day.  Or two.  God?  Are you listening?